I really wanted to make this soup that we had at the amazing Garrison Institute and I bought all fresh ingredients at the farmers market so it was time to get down to business and do it. Wow, soup is very labor intensive but I think that is exactly what I needed today. It felt good to have something to keep my hands and my mind busy.
I’m not exactly sure what was going on with me today but I was anxiety-stricken from the moment I woke up and it stayed with me throughout the day. My heart was beating so fast and I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. Usually I resist this feeling hard and do everything I can think of to get away from it but today I just decided to allow myself to feel that anxiety, notice how my body was reacting to it and kept reminding myself to take deep breaths.
I was introduced to the Open Heart Project through Marianne Elliott. It is an online introduction to meditation with two levels: basic (which is free) and practitioner (which is way beyond me). When you sign up, you receive two emails a week from Susan Piver with two 10 minute videos. One video provides a guided meditation practice and the other is more educational on meditation (purpose, how to do it, what the challenges are etc. ). Susan Piver is simply AMAZING. I have learned so much in the past 25 days I have been practicing meditation and I can’t imagine ever not practicing. I feel it changing my life, slowly, but nonetheless it is undeniably changing my life.
You may be wondering how I can say it is changing my life on a day when I have felt so much anxiety. What I’ve learned though is that meditation isn’t about being magically transformed into a peaceful blissful person; rather, it is about feeling and accepting a full spectrum of feelings, see them for what they are and learn how to return to balance.
If you are not familiar with the Open Heart Project, I encourage you to check it out. http://susanpiver.com/open-heart-project/participate/