August Break: Day Five

Image

What’s difficult about the rain is that you can’t see very clearly.  I feel like I’ve been in the rain for a very long time.  It’s just been a really really rough path and a lot of difficulties that life has thrown my way.  I’ve had some relief from that rain lately and I have felt like I can see myself more clearly now which is good but it can be really difficult as well.

Somebody made a comment to me about how much happier I seem and what a **BLEEP** I used to be.  I know the comments that hurt the most are the ones I either know to be true or fear to be true.  With the rain, came some storms and after the storm there is inevitably some debris.  Sometimes there are people who feel compelled to pick that debris up and throw it in your face.  I cannot deny that it REALLY REALLY hurt me to hear that and I’m struggling with what to do with it.  Maybe there is nothing I can do with it.  Maybe I just have to hear it, accept it and move on. 

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4 thoughts on “August Break: Day Five

  1. Love the photo. Hate to hear that someone was so terribly insensitive to you. I love what Tara Mohr says about criticism — that is it more about the person doing the criticizing that the one being criticized. Why do some people need us to be all sweetness and light? That’s not how life works. When there are storms there will be debris. Good for you for facing that honestly and getting it out when it needed getting out. Then you don’t carry it around letting it do damage inside. AND, it is probably why you can be happier now. You dealt with it. Way to go!

  2. It sounds like you are being more genuine and nothing is more important than that. Yes, others may ‘suffer’ from your real YOU but it’s their problem to deal with. People like knowing what to expect if you and when y shake things up they don’t know what to do about it… As if they need to do anything about it. The best gift u can give yourself and those around you is the real and genuine patty even if you are being a b$&@h!
    I love the rain doppled image. I think it has an Impressionism feeling tone to it which was exactly how you were feeling when u took it.

    • You’re right about the picture Julie … that is exactly how I was feeling at that moment. I’m learning a lot about accepting myself for who I am through meditation and I want to be true to that. I just hate the idea of being viewed in that way, that’s not who I want to see when I look at myself. I think it’s about smoothing out some edges.

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